Ahhh I'm so terrified of my finals tomorrow, but the weather (60s and 70s and sunny, really super gorgeous) I think is making it harder for me to panic (I panicked all last week super early?) , instead I just feel mildly sick to my stomach when I think about everything that I have to have memorized for tomorrow.  The rest of the suite (except for the suitemate we don't like) is out so its been nice being able to spread out all my notes and 140+ flashcards out and study on the floor, on the blue carpet that I really like, but alittle lonely now that everyone's leaving and I'm camped out studying.  I've repainted my fingernails twice in the last 18 hrs and bitten off one of them and I'm living off diet coke mostly because not much looks good at bartlett today, but bright side I'm not really sick anymore (just in time for the finals) and I think I've figured out the rooming situation almost certainly for next year and it should be really nice, plus I'm definately staying in Rickert, which I love.  And thursday I'm going downtown for very relaxing therapeutic shopping to exchange the dress from urban outfitters and read State of Denial, and then rent a movie with Anna hopefully, and going to cali and austin this weekend, which should be really nice.  And I got the political organizations class I really wanted for next quarter, and studying at the reg for civ + physics with Colleen tonight for a few hours and dinner with Tova in between physicsing, and calling my dad again to de-panic probably.  I'm really really scared kinda. 

        Listening to "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap from The Last Kiss soundtrack is really perfect for my mood in that way where whatever song that is makes you feel better because its so right.  Chicago's starting to feel alittle more like home again, but I still feel alittle lonely even when I'm with friends here.  I'm not sure if I'd feel differently if I were in Austin right right now though, maybe its just the weather or the work I'm not interested in.  Civ's getting really good then, and I'm trying again to like my new HUM professor.  Cheap student tickets with a bunch of girls in rickert for Friday though, and next weeken d I'm going home.. so hopefully everything'll work out.  I should really wash my hair though, instead I watched the state of the union and read about Abelard for civ.  and I think I almost started crying during the story of the subway train tracks guy and the marine during Bush's speech and then later from the combination of this song (was listening to it on repeat last night) and Abelard last night... and thats really sad.  Oh well.. only 2 more months of this weather..

Ahhh.. I need to work so much harder, I have three classes and I still feel overwhelmed.  And I think the highlight of my day might end up being the trip to the CVS with Jane and Clara (roommate + suitemate) to get toilet paper, paper towels, 100% acetone (my nails aren't coming off so well and its getting traumatic) and cereal.  Kinda sad. And I'm freezing.  And on our way back from Civ, one of the 4th years in it told me and Colleen that it wasn't that cold, because it'd warmed up since earlier this morning.. it's 14 degrees... crazy people live here.  Ugh, more physics.. I need to be interested in more of my classes again.. I'm craving a history elective or a law class...

It's still 20-30 degrees, one of those things where the weather page says it 30 but that it feels like 18ish, and I'm getting sick of it.  We're supposed to get snow today, but yeah, still would rather have the beach or warm weather, its getting kinda depressing.  Plus I've been working on my first short paper for my HUM class this weekend, and I'd forgotten how theres nothing that'll make you feel worthless or shitty as fast as the first draft of a paper that you have to show people (mom, TA, proffessor) to get comments and feedback.  And I lost my ID saturday night when we were walking back from Girodano's (really good chicago style pizza place that I wouldn't be able to spell the name of if my life depended on it).  And I realized the other day when I went downtown and was in the borders that in texas, you inadvertantly hear a ridiculous amount of country music just by being there.  And I like some country music, but its really strange never hearing it beyond what's on my ipod, so I bought a semi country cd, and made a playlist of all the country songs I have that I really like, and thats all I've been listening to since yesterday morning.  And I miss Austin? And people? Kinda alot actually.  But its MLK day, so no classes, so maybe I'll watch a movie after I finish my paper and get acceptable to be going outside.  And I have to return the sweats that were to big at the COOP, and wear socks, maybe boots, we'll see. 

It's snowing, and I'd forgotten how pretty it was.